2010

Well it has taken me over four months to get back to my blog. Over this four months my "recovery" process has continued full stream. This isn't to suggest that I am over-achieving recovery, which would suit my addictive personality, but rather that I have stayed on the roller coaster of feelings, awareness and self-care. I imagine I am making the transition to adult hood and this major transition brings up a lot of grief. My dysfunctional personalities tried to hide this behind fear and anger towards people and events that I have put me on this path. The reality is that whilst I would have previously stated that my addiction to a change was a strength, the truth of the matter was that change does always impact me. On a bad day, old bad relationships seems like a cozy corner to curl up on when i reality this cozy corner was on the most unsafe in a troubled town.

One of the other personalities that I have had to left go of is the fortune teller who knows not just my future, but the future of others around me. This guy's reading was generally a bad one and would align with my low self-worth. My recovery allows me to check-in his reading and see it for what it is.

Tonight I am feeling some sadness about what wasn't but i have to say I love grief because it frees me up to experience the next part of my higher powers plan for me.

Good night.